My little cousin Chris is 14 now. He had my mom & I cracking up. He said he had a girlfriend but they broke up. Were were like- "what? Already?" Then this is how the dialogue went-
Me: Let me see a picture of her!
Chris: I don't have one anymore. It got deleted.
Mom: Oh, no! Why did you delete it?
Chris: I didnt- my sister Taylor did. She said my ex was ugly.
Me: Well, was she?
Chris: Yea...
Mom: What??!! Then why did you date her?
Chris: I didn't know what she looked like at 1st.
Me: So she doesn't go to your school?
Chris: No, we met on a wrong number
Me & Mom: HUH?
Chris: She called me by accident. Then she said she liked my voice.
Me & Mom: Oh, Lord! *gasp*
Me: So what made her ugly?
Chris: Well, she said she was light skinned but she wasn't. And she has a lot of gaps in between her teeth.
Me: *LMAO!*
Chris: But my dad & grandma said I shouldn't judge people by their looks so I gave it a chance.
Mom: Weren't you worried because she was a complete stranger.
Chris: Yea, my cousin kept joking about how when we finally met she was gona be 30 yrs old & nothing like she said she was.
Me: Do you even see each other?
Chris: Yea, that's why I started going to church cus she goes to my mom's church.
Mom: Oh, no Chris! You only started going to church to see a girl?
Chris: Yea
Me: *LMAO!*
Chris: When we 1st met at church I got scared cus her mom's name is Valerie too & she introduced herself to me & I really thought she was 30 & got scared. But then she said she was Big Valerie & her daughter was Lil Valerie
Me: Ghetto!
Mom: So how long did you date this girl
Chris: Ever since 2009
Me: *jokingly* What? Since December of '09? * lol*
Chris: Yup!
Me & Jeanie: *LMAO!!!!!!*
I was laughing my ass off at this conversation because my lil cousin was dead serious & so innocent about the whole conversation. It was too cute!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Ghetto Weddings- Why?
I absolutely love weddings. Not because I've always dreamed of my own wedding as a child- I usually dreamt about being famous & traveling the world. But I love weddings because of the detail & coordination that goes into this elaborate event that the bride and groom plan for months.
I look at the choice in colors and wonder if the bride chose to accommodate the masculinity of her future husband or if she just picked her absolute favorite colors. I observe the carefully crafted wedding favors that the bridal party put together & admire the creativity. You can't go wrong when you go to a wedding in which the food is spectacular. Not to mention the flower arrangements and centerpieces. They are a work of art in addition to the layout of the reception and the detail of the cake. I mean, weddings are some of the most thought out events.
Now, I say all this to get to my next point. Well, it's actually my pet peeve... I can’t stand ghetto weddings. Now if you're offended by the cliché or the worn out use of the term then call it what you must. "Low budget wedding." "Quickie wedding." "Last minute- let's send out a text message & order some chicken wings wedding." You know what I'm talking about especially if you've ever been to one.
Now I'm not opposed to having a small budget friendly wedding. It is a smart thing to do. With the money you spend on weddings you could put a down payment on a house or pay off student loans & have the best honeymoon ever! But I'm opposed to "tacky." I'm dam near allergic to it.
So here's a list of things that I've seen in the past and that I hope not to see from any of you in the future. We can consider it "The no-no list:"
1.) Having your wedding in the hood in which you're guest would rather get dropped off than park their car outside.
2.) Having your wedding at a hall with multiple rooms in which the Quinceanera music next door is louder than yours.
3.) Having your wedding in the dead of summer in an old church that is under construction and has no central air.
4.) Sending out your invitations 1 month in advance. E-vites are unacceptable so please don't give the excuse of going "Green"
5.) Papier-mâché party favors from Party World as decorations. Ex. The ones that fold out into bells and streamers.
6.) Martinelli's Apple Cider from the 99-cent store in which you have been stocking up on since the proposal.
7.) Having guest “BYOB in a cooler” (I've seen it done & my mouth dropped)
8.) Wearing a Tiara when you're over 30 and on your second marriage with two kids. You are no longer daddy's princess & you shouldn't even be wearing white but we'll let that slide. (Ok, I threw that one in there due to personal preference).
9.) Registering at Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus & Tiffany's especially if #'s 1, 2, & 3 apply to you.
10.) Having your cousin who just learned to DJ play a mixed CD.
11.) Having plastic flower bouquets.
12.) Running out of food that your family prepared for the reception because you sent out e-vites that were forwarded to any & everybody. I warned you about that.
... And lastly (I know you thought there would be more)
13.) Forgetting to send out thank you cards. How uncouth!
If you feel that you're in need of proper etiquette training or that you just don't have the funds to go against this list, please contact me. I would love to be of service and spare you the risk of being talked about via text message at your own reception.
*This blog is based on my opinions & does not reflect the beliefs of the members of CC Publishing in its entirety. Or does it?
Hearts & Hugs,
Januari
I look at the choice in colors and wonder if the bride chose to accommodate the masculinity of her future husband or if she just picked her absolute favorite colors. I observe the carefully crafted wedding favors that the bridal party put together & admire the creativity. You can't go wrong when you go to a wedding in which the food is spectacular. Not to mention the flower arrangements and centerpieces. They are a work of art in addition to the layout of the reception and the detail of the cake. I mean, weddings are some of the most thought out events.
Now, I say all this to get to my next point. Well, it's actually my pet peeve... I can’t stand ghetto weddings. Now if you're offended by the cliché or the worn out use of the term then call it what you must. "Low budget wedding." "Quickie wedding." "Last minute- let's send out a text message & order some chicken wings wedding." You know what I'm talking about especially if you've ever been to one.
Now I'm not opposed to having a small budget friendly wedding. It is a smart thing to do. With the money you spend on weddings you could put a down payment on a house or pay off student loans & have the best honeymoon ever! But I'm opposed to "tacky." I'm dam near allergic to it.
So here's a list of things that I've seen in the past and that I hope not to see from any of you in the future. We can consider it "The no-no list:"
1.) Having your wedding in the hood in which you're guest would rather get dropped off than park their car outside.
2.) Having your wedding at a hall with multiple rooms in which the Quinceanera music next door is louder than yours.
3.) Having your wedding in the dead of summer in an old church that is under construction and has no central air.
4.) Sending out your invitations 1 month in advance. E-vites are unacceptable so please don't give the excuse of going "Green"
5.) Papier-mâché party favors from Party World as decorations. Ex. The ones that fold out into bells and streamers.
6.) Martinelli's Apple Cider from the 99-cent store in which you have been stocking up on since the proposal.
7.) Having guest “BYOB in a cooler” (I've seen it done & my mouth dropped)
8.) Wearing a Tiara when you're over 30 and on your second marriage with two kids. You are no longer daddy's princess & you shouldn't even be wearing white but we'll let that slide. (Ok, I threw that one in there due to personal preference).
9.) Registering at Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus & Tiffany's especially if #'s 1, 2, & 3 apply to you.
10.) Having your cousin who just learned to DJ play a mixed CD.
11.) Having plastic flower bouquets.
12.) Running out of food that your family prepared for the reception because you sent out e-vites that were forwarded to any & everybody. I warned you about that.
... And lastly (I know you thought there would be more)
13.) Forgetting to send out thank you cards. How uncouth!
If you feel that you're in need of proper etiquette training or that you just don't have the funds to go against this list, please contact me. I would love to be of service and spare you the risk of being talked about via text message at your own reception.
*This blog is based on my opinions & does not reflect the beliefs of the members of CC Publishing in its entirety. Or does it?
Hearts & Hugs,
Januari
Sunday, February 28, 2010
V-DAY...Hmm?
I woke up early Sunday morning with an insatiable need for espresso and sunbeams, but since I reside in New York sunbeams are scarce, but my café sells a Jim Bean which will complement my espresso well. As I rushed through 30 degrees to my favorite café, I was caught off guard by the lack of people on the streets. My Brooklyn neighborhood is busy, bustling, and boisterous at all hours of the day, so it's safe to assume when you see less than two people per a one block radius... something is up. Where is everyone, what block party is all of Brooklyn participating in today, except me? I soon discovered two blocks later whose guest list I was not on...Cupids. Once I reached a commercial street all I noticed were couples, everywhere I looked there was a couple. There were old couples, young couple, ugly couples, fat couples, gay couples, and yes, I even spotted a crackhead couple who were out celebrating their love or high- whichever came first for them. Ahh, so this is what slipped my mind today. Cupid had completely missed me with his arrows of love, lust, or compassion for such a Hallmark holiday. By the time I got to the cafe I was over anything red, pink, floral, and of course any living organism uncaringly partaking in PDA.
I was elated to find the café de-valentined-there was no sign of Cupid anywhere. The walls were just as drab and plain they were before Cupid descended upon the earth. The room was filled with normal crowd of writers, artist, and playwrights, who obviously woke up, with no recollection of ever circling February 14th on their calendar as well. Yet, scanning the room I noticed more people drinking Jim Bean than coffee bean, and after taking a closer look- they were all women. I had to ask myself did they really forget, or are they trying to make themselves forget? Before I could think too deep into the matter I had to answer my phone. It was William, my Valentines date. I managed to make it from Brooklyn to Chelsea in twenty minutes. I arrived to the restaurant completely underdressed, and burning with questions. After observing the couples in the dimly lit restaurant, what is the big deal about Valentines Day? Some of these couples look as if dinner with they’re spouse is a chore. I’ve never understood its purpose. Shouldn’t a person show their partner that you love them everyday, and if so then why is February 14th so special?
I was elated to find the café de-valentined-there was no sign of Cupid anywhere. The walls were just as drab and plain they were before Cupid descended upon the earth. The room was filled with normal crowd of writers, artist, and playwrights, who obviously woke up, with no recollection of ever circling February 14th on their calendar as well. Yet, scanning the room I noticed more people drinking Jim Bean than coffee bean, and after taking a closer look- they were all women. I had to ask myself did they really forget, or are they trying to make themselves forget? Before I could think too deep into the matter I had to answer my phone. It was William, my Valentines date. I managed to make it from Brooklyn to Chelsea in twenty minutes. I arrived to the restaurant completely underdressed, and burning with questions. After observing the couples in the dimly lit restaurant, what is the big deal about Valentines Day? Some of these couples look as if dinner with they’re spouse is a chore. I’ve never understood its purpose. Shouldn’t a person show their partner that you love them everyday, and if so then why is February 14th so special?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Valentine's Day gets no love!
I've never "not" been a fan of a holiday. I enjoy them all, even Columbus Day, although I'm not sure why its a National holiday ( we all know he didn't discover America). But any day off from work or a chance to be festive is fine by me. I sport my green on St. Patty's Day & have a beer for fun. I've got my 4th of July plans in action every year. I always have a healthy appetite around Thanksgiving, & I shop for Christmas in October. Then there's Valentines Day. Some people can't stand it. They feel that it's commercialized but hey, what holiday isn't? Macy's would have a Groundhog's Day sale if it meant they could make some extra revenue. I personally have a good relationship with Valentines Day. It treats me very well. Whether I'm in a relationship or not I've always had fun dressing up in my pink & red & giving out Valentines Day cards. I definitely adore receving chocolates like See's, not that Russell Stover chocolate that you can buy at CVS, yuck! I enjoy sending my girl friends Valentines Day cards & surprises. Sometimes I'll even go out with a group of friends and celebrate with everyone whether you're single or a couple. So, what's the big deal? Is the reason why people don't like Valentines Day because they don't have someone to share it with? Or does the commercialism really bother you that much? What's it all about people?
Hearts & Hugs (Especially for Valentines Day)
Januari
Friday, February 12, 2010
Only in LA...
I woke up this morning anticipating rain and got what looked like the Universal Studios back lot. You know, where the water hoses are strategically placed in the trees and water comes rushing down the hill by the gallons. Oh, my! Will my 8£ Top Shop umbrella from London suffice? That would be a no! Not a second after getting out the car to go to work does my umbrella get turned inside out by a huge gust of wind. What a way to start out the day.
After work on my way home the skies are blue and the sun begins to show its face. As I drive down Sepulveda Blvd I'm cautious about rolling down my windows in the event that a cop is nearby. I absolutely love my tinted windows and couldn't stand to be without them despite my countless “fix it” tickets. Uh! In Atlanta you can dam near tint the front windshield but that would absolutely be doing the most.
As I get to a stoplight I smell that sticky- icky. It seems like folks in LA smoke weed as casual as smoking cigarettes. You know, in the car on the way to the grocery store, at the park while chillin in the car, in the drive though at PopEyes Chicken, in the club on the dance floor, you know- just anywhere! Rolling a blunt midday at the stop light is as common as a California roll at a stop sign.
I decide to go to the Grocery store where they apparently sell everything you need aside from groceries out in front. A child approaches me to buy chocolate for a school fundraiser before I can even get out my car. I'm all for the cause but its 2pm & school isn’t even out yet. I have suspicions about that chocolate & kindly lie to the kid & say- "Sorry, I have no cash." As I approach the door a young brutha hits me up to buy his mix tape & an entrepreneur attempts to hit me up for incense, 20 sticks for $5. "No thank you- no thank you" I reply. Geesh! I almost forgot what I came to the store for. Inside I recognize the security guard who used to steal alcohol & sell it from the trunk of his car on his break. I think, “Is he still working here?” I shake my head but wonder how much he's selling a bottle of Hornitos Tequila for. On my way out I'm hit up once again for yet another scholarly cause. A young man has a worn out binder with laminated documents asking for me to sign up to receive newspapers or for donations towards his college education. I nicely suggest that he apply for financial aid & to Google the FAFSA website. Really people! Really?
I finally get home after 20 minutes although I live less than 2 miles away from the store. Aw, yes LA traffic. It has spread from the freeway to the streets. If only I could take back all the time that's been lost in traffic. And I dare not text or e-mail because Oprah wants everybody to pledge to make his or her car a text free zone. Well, and I would hope not to injure anyone on the road.
I decide to take a jog in the neighborhood and get some exercise before the sun goes down. Up in the hills I approach a view to die for. To my left is LAX. To my right are gorgeous mountains and between them both, the Pacific Ocean. Was it not raining just hours ago? I decide that I should pick up the pace and run my ass home before a monsoon hits. I've got this curly weave but who's to say that the Santa Monica winds won't snatch it right out.
So, tomorrow’s weather forecast is set to be clear skies until the end of the week. My schedule is jam packed with a To Do list that would put Ryan Seacrest to shame. Why am I working so hard again? Well, Vegas has fortunately made its way into my blackberry calendar this weekend.
Hearts and Hugs,
Januari
After work on my way home the skies are blue and the sun begins to show its face. As I drive down Sepulveda Blvd I'm cautious about rolling down my windows in the event that a cop is nearby. I absolutely love my tinted windows and couldn't stand to be without them despite my countless “fix it” tickets. Uh! In Atlanta you can dam near tint the front windshield but that would absolutely be doing the most.
As I get to a stoplight I smell that sticky- icky. It seems like folks in LA smoke weed as casual as smoking cigarettes. You know, in the car on the way to the grocery store, at the park while chillin in the car, in the drive though at PopEyes Chicken, in the club on the dance floor, you know- just anywhere! Rolling a blunt midday at the stop light is as common as a California roll at a stop sign.
I decide to go to the Grocery store where they apparently sell everything you need aside from groceries out in front. A child approaches me to buy chocolate for a school fundraiser before I can even get out my car. I'm all for the cause but its 2pm & school isn’t even out yet. I have suspicions about that chocolate & kindly lie to the kid & say- "Sorry, I have no cash." As I approach the door a young brutha hits me up to buy his mix tape & an entrepreneur attempts to hit me up for incense, 20 sticks for $5. "No thank you- no thank you" I reply. Geesh! I almost forgot what I came to the store for. Inside I recognize the security guard who used to steal alcohol & sell it from the trunk of his car on his break. I think, “Is he still working here?” I shake my head but wonder how much he's selling a bottle of Hornitos Tequila for. On my way out I'm hit up once again for yet another scholarly cause. A young man has a worn out binder with laminated documents asking for me to sign up to receive newspapers or for donations towards his college education. I nicely suggest that he apply for financial aid & to Google the FAFSA website. Really people! Really?
I finally get home after 20 minutes although I live less than 2 miles away from the store. Aw, yes LA traffic. It has spread from the freeway to the streets. If only I could take back all the time that's been lost in traffic. And I dare not text or e-mail because Oprah wants everybody to pledge to make his or her car a text free zone. Well, and I would hope not to injure anyone on the road.
I decide to take a jog in the neighborhood and get some exercise before the sun goes down. Up in the hills I approach a view to die for. To my left is LAX. To my right are gorgeous mountains and between them both, the Pacific Ocean. Was it not raining just hours ago? I decide that I should pick up the pace and run my ass home before a monsoon hits. I've got this curly weave but who's to say that the Santa Monica winds won't snatch it right out.
So, tomorrow’s weather forecast is set to be clear skies until the end of the week. My schedule is jam packed with a To Do list that would put Ryan Seacrest to shame. Why am I working so hard again? Well, Vegas has fortunately made its way into my blackberry calendar this weekend.
Hearts and Hugs,
Januari
Doves, Indonesians, and Consumerism.
I got approached on the street this week from this guy who creeped me out. I'm walking with my headphones on ignoring anyone that has nothing to do with my life, and a man runs up on me, and asked me to take my headphones off. With the since of urgency he created I quickly complied with his demand. I would like to know where the bomb is and if I am heading towards it- It’s New York, as a taxpayer I should expect to blow up at any given moment! I assume this man is going to advise me that A.) I am trailing a stream of tissue from the bottom of my boot up 5th Avenue. I had a rough time in the bathroom moment’s earlier- Thai food. B.) A Pigeon, Dove, or Bald Eagle shat on my coat, and I should remove it promptly. C.) That I dropped my Wallet, but with my life the latter is less likely to occur.
I remove my headphones and shoot him a look that says "Yes" because Lord only knows the tone of my voice in the dead of winter is always Harsh when its 19 degrees outside, mainly because I'm harsh that I live in a city where the temperature can drop to 19 degrees outside! He finally speaks to proclaim, "You look nice." I proceed to place my headphones back in my ear and walk away with Tupac Shakur and the Holy Sprit. He hurries after me, "What is your name?" When I looked at him he was actually pretty cute- but it was cold- don't stop me in the winter- you just don’t have a chance. I am outside, during rush hour- the streets look like the 405 freeway but instead of cars bumper to bumper its people on the road. It's like Freaking Indonesia- Shoulder to Shoulder traffic! I was outdone. I had a long class and was contemplating a market strategy that would make me a media mogul. (Yes, These are the thoughts that consume me when I walk down the street- TRAGIC!) I asked him "How old are you, and why are you stopping people on the streets?" He laughed as if I was joking! I of course freezing my ass off and looking for pick pocket’ers within a 3 feet radius remained stark serious. I had yet to deposit my rent into the bank and was carrying cash. "I'm 31, and you look nice." WHAT AT 31 THAT’S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH? I looked at his wardrobe and knew I was going to have to SHUT this down immediately. He had on a Black shiny bubble vest like Puffy and Mase back in the glory days of hip-hop. A baseball cap that was turned sideways and a random unidentified shopping bag- that didn't really look new- I think it was maybe a return purchase. Anyhow, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was dressed like a BET 106 and Park audience member at 31- I had to Go. "I'm sorry I'm not interested, and I'm running late for something. Have a nice day." As I nuzzle Tupac's Baritone back into my ear canal I hear this man shout with a tone of 'stankness' in his voice "Alright Ma, well you still look nice!" I wanted to shout back at the top of my lungs "Dude you've stated this already. Thanks, DAMN stop returning merchandise you can’t afford!" Consumerism is so TRAGIC!
I remove my headphones and shoot him a look that says "Yes" because Lord only knows the tone of my voice in the dead of winter is always Harsh when its 19 degrees outside, mainly because I'm harsh that I live in a city where the temperature can drop to 19 degrees outside! He finally speaks to proclaim, "You look nice." I proceed to place my headphones back in my ear and walk away with Tupac Shakur and the Holy Sprit. He hurries after me, "What is your name?" When I looked at him he was actually pretty cute- but it was cold- don't stop me in the winter- you just don’t have a chance. I am outside, during rush hour- the streets look like the 405 freeway but instead of cars bumper to bumper its people on the road. It's like Freaking Indonesia- Shoulder to Shoulder traffic! I was outdone. I had a long class and was contemplating a market strategy that would make me a media mogul. (Yes, These are the thoughts that consume me when I walk down the street- TRAGIC!) I asked him "How old are you, and why are you stopping people on the streets?" He laughed as if I was joking! I of course freezing my ass off and looking for pick pocket’ers within a 3 feet radius remained stark serious. I had yet to deposit my rent into the bank and was carrying cash. "I'm 31, and you look nice." WHAT AT 31 THAT’S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH? I looked at his wardrobe and knew I was going to have to SHUT this down immediately. He had on a Black shiny bubble vest like Puffy and Mase back in the glory days of hip-hop. A baseball cap that was turned sideways and a random unidentified shopping bag- that didn't really look new- I think it was maybe a return purchase. Anyhow, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was dressed like a BET 106 and Park audience member at 31- I had to Go. "I'm sorry I'm not interested, and I'm running late for something. Have a nice day." As I nuzzle Tupac's Baritone back into my ear canal I hear this man shout with a tone of 'stankness' in his voice "Alright Ma, well you still look nice!" I wanted to shout back at the top of my lungs "Dude you've stated this already. Thanks, DAMN stop returning merchandise you can’t afford!" Consumerism is so TRAGIC!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Welcome!
Sunup Sundown documents the colorful life, thoughts, and opinions of two up and coming young professionals. If you know us personally then you know that we lead and interesting life just by the stories we share. Januari lives in Los Angeles, the entertainment capital, and is continuously amused by the fascinating events she encounters in her extremely busy life. Gina lives in New York, the city that never sleeps, coincidentally neither does she- and for a good reasons... shes trying to take over the world! Please join us by reading our blurbs of bewilderment, beauty, and SHOES! Follow us on our bi-coastal adventure for tales of debauchery and festivity in our first blogging venture Sunup to Sundown. You're sure to be tickled...amongst other things.
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